Speaking in public used to scare me. What scares me know is contacting people I know and asking for help. Asking them to be a part of my mission in life. Some are too busy. Some don’t believe in the cause. Rejection is painful for me. Letting down people I know is scary. I made commitments to people. There were times, when I just let go and left them behind. Staring projects and not following through on them, scares me. Not getting everything done that I want to get done, frightens me. Dying alone, without a purpose and not leaving a legacy is the ultimate fear. Putting myself out there is required to live with a purpose. Making calls and showing up is required. Failure is also a fear I have. I will recover if I fail. That is what I have to do. Then get back up and do it again.

I am statements are powerful. This is what I have learned. How have I been a warrior? I continue to fight through my days. I have had disappointments and challenges. However, I try to do the right thing. I must do the right thing. It is the hardest thing. I admit when I am wrong. I press on. I meditate. After I do that, I journal. I read something positive. I want to improve my skills. I post on twitter and facebook. Then I write this blog. I have joined mastermind groups and support groups. I help others where I can. I try to keep a positive outlook. I summon the courage to continue to fight. I do all this for the glory of God.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. It can come from a song, a picture, a movie, something someone says to you. Even if someone says something bad about you, the trick is to take it and use what is good, then move on. Creativity can spring from pain, chaos, and messiness. I say take that to anyone who ever put me down. You see I am still kicking. I will use your put downs for energy, for fuel to the fire. You have fanned the flames of my creativity. Now, more than ever you have caused me to seek out a solution. Thank you, you critical people. Keep it coming.

I thought I had things down pat. The more I think I know, the more I have to learn. There is always something to learn, no matter where you are at. I need to grow. Plan and simple truth is I know I need to update some skills. I let myself get stagnant. Just living my life, day in and day out. It is time to transform, move on, and stop wallowing. No matter who you are, you probably don’t know it all. You can learn from anyone. There are always lessons to be learned. You have to be willing to be transformed.

Some days I am in a routine. There are things that get done automatically, as I go through out the day. There are so many things that I could do. The problem lies in what to do. I have to ask will this activity get me closer to my goal? I used to have an easy time achieving my goals. Life seems more difficult. Maybe it is my thinking that is not clear. Focusing on activities that will get me closer to my clearly defined goals with help me achieve my goals. Having simple goals does not make me extraordinary. Achieving massive goals, does.

Trying to find what I am good at and what excites me is easy. How can I make a living at doing any of the things I love? I know I need to make a change soon. It is hard to keep doing something that I am not passionate about. What will I do? How can I do it? Will I be able to support my family? Who can help me? What do I need to survive? Who has done something like this? How can I do it better? There are always questions. When will I find the time to explore my passions? Read more…

Yesterday was a great day. I joined Toastmasters last week and attended my second meeting. Listening to the other speakers, not only helped me in gaining an understanding of how to be a better speaker, I actually learned something new on topics that they mentioned. Stepping up and helping out assists you to learn and grow. Several years ago, I could not have imagined myself doing any type of public speaking. I also learned that some of the speakers who are in my group are business leaders in the community. Asking, questions and listening is another way to learn something new. People like it when you show an interest in what they do. There are people who need assistance.

I read that making decisions is not hard because we don’t know what to do, it is hard because we don’t want to do what we know we must do. Taking the high road and doing what is hard is not always easy. In the end it is worth it. If all else fails pray for wisdom. This year I have a lot of decisions to make. Some are more difficult than others. They may even be gut wrenching. I know I must face each and every one of those tasks ahead of me.  They will require grit, determination, hard work, energy, and enthusiasm (charisma.)

I looked over some delightful posts. There were babies laughing while playing with a loved one and kittens attacking other kittens. Was this a distraction? Sure. It made me realize how I am grateful for little things. Especially my children. They are full of energy and appear wise beyond their years. There was a time when I thought that I could not have any children. Sure they keep me busy. They are such a blessing. We are able to share some great moments together. They enjoy doing some of the same things I used to do, like coloring. Laughter fills our house some days as well as tears. Being so young, they see the world with such wonder and awe. Looking at the world through their eyes is a blessing.

I like the idea of trying new things. Now, if only I could narrow down my list of things that I want to do. Do they have babysitters there? Will my kids be okay without me? I will have to budget for that one. What do I really want to do? Will this benefit me? Am I just spinning my wheels? What is the best course of action to take? When should I do it? There are so many questions that come up. Are they excuses or are the legitimate obstacles. So, much is going on. Do I really need another thing on my plate? I don’t want to complain. I don’t want to be lazy. One thing at a time. Now, where did I put my list?